The Information Channel Felist.Com -*-------------------------------------------------------------------------- +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Short stories | | Issue number 35 | |------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 20.dec.2005. | [http://englishhome.ru/] http:// | | | englishhome.ru | |------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | | | | | Hello, my dear friends! | | | | I'm glad to meet you. | | | | In these issues you'll find jokes, amusing cases and short stories. | | | | Send your stories. | | | | [http://www.forum.englishhome.ru/viewtopic.php?t=374] The funny | | story. | | | | Conversation between Baboo & his son. | | Baboo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice | | Son : "I will choose my own bride!" | | Baboo: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter." | | Son : "Well, in that case...ok" | | Next Baboo approaches Bill Gates. | | Baboo: "I have a husband for your daughter." | | Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!" | | Baboo: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." | | Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok" | | Finally Baboo goes to see the president of the World Bank. | | Baboo: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president." | | President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!" | | Baboo: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law." | | President: "Ah, in that case...ok" | | This is how business is done!! | | True Telephone conversations recorded from various | | Help Desks around the U.K | | | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? | | Customer: A white one... | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Customer: Hi, this is Celina. I can't get my diskette | | out. | | Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? | | Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck. | | Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note | | ... | | Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it | | yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .... | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the | | left of the screen. | | Customer: Your left or my left? | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? | | Male customer: Hello... I can't print. | | Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ... | | Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on | | me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it! | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | (THIS ONE KILLS ME!) | | Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. | | Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've | | even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the | | monitor, but the computer still says he can't find | | it... | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Customer: I have problems printing in red... | | Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer? | | Customer: No. | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? | | Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in | | the supermarket. | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Helpdesk: And now hit F8. | | Customer: It's not working. | | Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? | | Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but | | nothing's happening... | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. | | Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? | | | | Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. | | Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces | | back. | | Customer: OK | | Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? | | Customer: Yes | | Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. | | Is there another keyboard? | | Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one | | does work! | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in | | apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. | | Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | A customer couldn't get on the internet. | | Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? | | Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. | | Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? | | Customer: Five stars. | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? | | Customer: Netscape. | | Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program. | | Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a | | screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the | | mouse, it disappears! | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you? | | Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours | | for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take | | before you can help me? | | Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your | | problem? | | Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help | | button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you | | will finally be helping me? | | --------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Helpdesk: How may I help you? | | Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. | | Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? | | Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I | | get the circle around itTrue | | | | :-))) | | | | News, advertisements: | | | | New forum [http://www.forum.englishhome.ru/viewforum.php?f=7] | | Questions about Russia | | | | | | | | Write to me [mailto:englishhome@englishhome.ru?subject=Short_story] | | englishhome@englishhome.ru?subject=Short_story | | | | My issue [http://felist.com/catalog/rest.funny.shortst] http:// | | felist.com/catalog/rest.funny.shortst | | | | New Mail List: | | | | [http://felist.com/catalog/rest.quest] FAQ about Russia | | | | [http://felist.com/catalog/rest.girl] Russian girl is seeking for a | | partner | | | | Yours Dimetrius. | | | | | +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ -*-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unsubscribe: http://felist.com/member/unsub?grp=rest.funny.shortst&email= http://felist.com/ mailto:ask@felist.com