Thinking of emotional self-reliance, the key word we need to remember is freedom. We are to say to ourselves: "I am free to determine my own actions and reactions. I am free to choose my own thoughts and feelings". This phrases at first could sound strange and unrealistic. So often we felt totally controlled by our strong emotions, such as anger, fear, guilt, and so forth. We even might came to a conclusion that they are "natural", and nothing could be done about them. But it is not true.

Nobody is born with a full-developed capacity to control his or her emotions, yet we are called to to rule them. Self-control is the hallmark of well-rounded spiritual development. Let us treat our disappointments as learning experiences, and not be intimidated by the tremendous inner work which have to be done. "A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step".

You don't have to react in certain ways. For example, if you were offended or mistreated, you don't have to become angry. Actually, some people might consciously or unconsciously provoke our anger in order to take advantage of us. Later we might feel guilty - and do something for those people "to redeem our guilt". This is what those people wanted initially.

But don't just battle with anger - you will soon learn that it is a difficult and mostly unsuccessful way. Don't judge yourself for becoming angry one more time. Strained efforts and self-condemnation won't make you free. The truth will make you free: realization of the truth of your being.

The problem with some people is that they are trying to control themselves without being deeply convinced that they are powerful enough to do that. They don't believe in themselves because they don't know depths of their divine nature.

Affirm that you are free. Affirm that you are powerful. Become established in these thoughts, and they will create for you a new reality of self-control.

As we mentioned, you don't have to feel guilty. Apologize if necessary, but don't allow yourselves to be tormented with remorse. Negative feelings toward yourself will never help you to become a better person.

You don't have to be afraid. It is true that painful changes sometimes occur in our life, and we do not know how to cope with them. We could be threatened by people or circumstances. But the uncertainly of our life cannot justify fearful attitude toward it in any way.

People over the world proved that there are ways out of almost all difficulties we could imagine. So-called miraculous deliverances happened with millions. We might not see the possibility of such deliverance in our case, but it doesn't mean that it is impossible.

It is a common observation that faith activates so-called "good luck". Happy coincidences and "miracles" mostly occur with those who expect them - irregardless of their religious creeds. Why don't we give faith a chance and let go of our fears?

I'm not talking about "faith which moves mountains". Let us first make some simple and easy steps toward developing a positive belief system. Let us allow ourselves to think that we aren't doomed to something bad. Let us accept an idea that we live in a friendly universe, and that God gave us life so that we might succeed in accomplishing our divine destiny. This will give us new courage and, ultimately, new emotional self-reliance.

(to be continued)