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Parshas TOLDOS

Parsha Perspectives

By Ozer Alport

"Isaac's servants dug in the valley and found there a well of fresh water. The herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with Isaac's herdsmen, saying, 'The water is ours.' ... Then they dug another well, and they fought over that one also ... He relocated from there and dug another well, and they didn't quarrel over it, so he called its name Rechovot, and said, 'For now Hashem has granted us ample space, and we can be fruitful in the land.'". (19:22-26)

The Torah relates in what seems to be excruciating detail the story of the various wells dug by Isaac and his servants, the names they were called, and how their jealous neighbors repeatedly fought with them to challenge their ownership. As we know that every word in the Torah is carefully measured and is excluded unless absolutely necessary, why does the Torah spend numerous verses relating what seems to be such a mundane and inconsequential event?

To appreciate the answer to this question, Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein tells an amusing (and true) story of a now-happily-married couple whose dating period couldn't have gotten off to a worse start. As the man was returning home from their first date, he was lightly injured in a minor car accident. After he recovered, they went out again. On their second date, the building they were in caught on fire and the woman was taken to the hospital for treatment. Still unfazed, they went out a third time. On that date, they were walking on the sidewalk when a flame which was coming out from a store caught on the lady's dress.

By this point, the man had had enough and was ready to accept the Divine "hints" about the potential match. He decided that he didn't wish to go out with this woman again. However, when he was recounting the events to his highly rational parents, they scoffed at his superstitious fears and convinced him to go out one more time. On the fourth date, the car they were in was involved in an accident, and both of them were lightly injured!

Although everything about the couple's interactions seemed quite compatible, the man was quite shaken and adamant in his refusal to date the woman further. His father approached Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky to solicit his opinion about the entire episode. After hearing the incredible story, Rabbi Kanievsky said that he didn't see any rational reason to decline the otherwise compatible match. In light of the opinion of Rabbi Kanievsky, the man agreed to continue dating the woman. All of their subsequent dates were indeed incident-free, and marked the beginning of a beautiful life together for the happy couple!

Rabbi Aharon Bakst (1867-1941) suggests that the Torah relates this episode to teach us the valuable lesson that in spiritual matters, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." We hear so many miraculous stories of pious Rabbis that we might erroneously assume that if a person is attempting to perform a mitzvah, everything will work out on his initial attempt without any unforeseen delays or obstacles. If it doesn't, we may despondently conclude that it is a sign that this endeavor hasn't found favor with Hashem and should be abandoned.

To counter this mistaken understanding, the Torah recounts the great lengths to which Isaac had to go to successfully locate an uncontested source of fresh water. The lesson we can take from here is that there is no room for superstitious despair. If our projects of spiritual growth don't go the way we would have hoped, we should reexamine them. If they still make sense on their own rational merits, we shouldn't read ominous signs into an unexpected turn of events, but rather we should persevere and redouble our efforts as our forefather Isaac did in this week's Parsha.

Talking Points

Rabbi Elazar Meisels

1. Red Means Stop

"The first one came out with a reddish complexion, covered completely with what was like a hairy robe, and they named him Esau." 25:25

• And They Named Him Esau Everyone called him so, because he was "made" and fully developed with hair, as one who is much older - Rashi
• He was named Esau because he was mature like a newborn animal, which is fully formed even at birth. This is not typical of humans who lack hair, mental faculties, speech, and much more, at the time of their emergence from the womb. Ksav V'Kabbalah

Animals are born with very limited souls, which severely inhibit their ability to experience spiritual growth while on earth. This is symbolized by their limited need for physical development as well. During the course of its lifetime, an animal will not grow too much smarter or more sophisticated, only larger. A human being, on the other hand, is expected to develop significantly over the course of his lifetime. He enters the world in a spiritually immature state, and must gradually develop and become a mature person. His lack of physical maturity at birth corresponds to this uniquely human responsibility. Esau's physical maturity at birth was not merely a case of advanced fetal development, but an ominous sign of his future lack of spiritual development and maturity.

2. To Each His Own

"The lads grew up. Esau became a skilled trapper, a man of the field. Jacob was a perfect man, who dwelt in tents." 24:27

• The Lads Grew Up ... Esau Became ... As long as they were young, they were indistinguishable by their deeds and their exact character was difficult to discern. Once they turned thirteen, Jacob went his way to houses of study and Esau went his way to worshipping idols ... Rashi
• Dwelt In Tents The tents of Shem and Ever. [Jacob studied Torah with them.] Rashi
• Esau Became A Skilled Trapper ... Jacob ... Dwelt In Tents The original plan was for Esau to tend to material matters in an honest and scrupulous fashion, while Jacob would tend to spiritual matters. They would enjoy a partnership akin to that of Yissachar and Zevulun in which each would be supportive of the other, and a world leader in his own right. Only once Esau abandoned his responsibilities, was Jacob saddled with both sets of responsibility. Sfas Emes (RabbiYehuda Aryeh Leib Alter (1847 - 1905)

Sforno's words, not only clarify Avraham's perplexing behavior in praying and negotiating on behalf of the horrendous sinners of Sodom, they also favorably illuminate the Almighty's approach to meting out justice. Rather than view the events at Sodom as a prime example of G-d's intolerance for sinners, perceive it as a symbol of His boundless patience, and willingness, to endure sinners even when their actions appear incorrigible. So hesitant was He to destroy the unusually corrupt and cruel people of Sodom, that He sought every possible indication, however remote, that they were still in the realm of Teshuvah. It was not until He was convinced that they were truly irredeemable, that He consented to do away with them. An honest observer would conclude that this demonstrates far more patience on His part for sinners, than even His greatest critics would display under similar circumstances.

3. Truth Always Prevails

"And when Isaac grew old, his eyesight grew dim and he could not see. He called Esau, his elder son, and said to him, 'My son.' Esau said to him, 'Here I am' ... 'Make it into a tasty dish for me, the way I like it, and bring it to me that I may eat, so that my soul will bless you before I die ... '" 27:1-3

• He Called Esau, His Elder Son Why did he choose to bless Esau and not the more pious Jacob?
• Isaac knew of Jacob's spiritual greatness and reasoned that he did not need the blessing as much as Esau who still struggled to conform religiously. He assumed that the blessings promised to Abraham would transfer anyhow to Jacob. Rada"k (Rabbi David Kimchi (1160 1235)
• He hoped to help Esau improve his actions, much as Abraham's prayers on behalf of Yishmael spurred Yishmael on to Teshuvah. Yishmael however, sinned only by worshipping idols, whereas Esau was a murderer of men. It is easier for an idolater, whose sin is primarily directed at Hashem, to recover, than it is for a murderer, who has harmed his fellow. Esau was therefore, a less-than-ideal candidate for Teshuvah. Etz HaDaas Tov  

Contrary to popular belief, many commentators believe that Isaac was well aware of Esau's shortcomings, but in the manner of a loving father, sought to provide him a way out of his troubles. Unfortunately for Esau, his earlier actions rendered him thoroughly unfit for his duties, and Rebecca had no choice but to intervene and ensure that the blessings went to Jacob instead, proving once again, that truth always prevails in the end ...

Partners Talk

Small Letter

Dear Rabbi:
In last week's Torah portion, we read that Abraham eulogized Sarah and wept for her. I was intrigued by the Hebrew word, "and wept for her," because one of the letters in the Hebrew text is written in miniature. I assume it is supposed to be written that way, but why?
Joel K.

Dear Joel:
The Torah uses many devices on many different levels to communicate its eternal message to us. Certainly, the surface meaning of the text (known as "pshat") conveys the primary message. However, there are many subtleties of meaning that are conveyed by other means (e.g. gematriathe numerical equivalence of words). In some cases, the Torah alters the size of a letter (as you expressed curiosity about)sometimes writing a letter smaller than usual and sometimes even writing a letter larger than usual. In one place, a letter in the Torah is written as if it were broken in two. In several passages we find that words are written with dots over some of the letters. All of these anomalies are codes which evoke additional meaning, if we are able to decipher them.

Rav Hirsch (in his commentary to Mishpatim) explains by analogy this system of unusual markings that appear in the text of a Torah scroll. One who rapidly takes notes in a lecture devises his own system of shorthand jottings in order to remember the points of the lecturer. Some might use arrows, icons, slashes, or other marks to capture some of the speaker's ideas. In a sense, the anomalous marks that we find in the Torah scroll are also similar to a shorthand system which conveys additional points to G-d's "lecture" (his Torah), as it were.

In the context of Abraham weeping over the death of his beloved wife Sarah, one of the commentators (Baal HaTurim) decodes the meaning of the miniature letter "chaf" in the word, "and he wept." He explains that Abraham's crying was reduced in intensity, just as the size of the letter "chaf" in the word is reduced in size.

In truth, many individuals have expressed surprise upon learning of Abraham's reaction to his dear wife's death, especially given the fact that Sarah was an absolutely righteous woman her entire life, as the first verse in the Torah portion relates. ["And it was that the life of Sarah was 100 years, and 20 years, and 7 years. . ." Instead of simply stating that she lived 127 years, the Torah divides her age into three units (hundreds, tens, and ones) and states the word "years" when mentioning each unit. Our Sages explain that the Torah broke down Sarah's age into three units in order to compare each unit with the other. Sarah was as pure at 100 years as she was at 20 years and as beautiful at 20 years as she was at 7 years (she possessed a pure, child-like beauty).] Furthermore, the marital relationship between Abraham and Sarah is expressed in the highest terms by the Sages. The question therefore begs, "Abraham should have cried even more intensely for the loss of Sarah than most husbands do for their wives?"

Perhaps, the explanation is that there are two reasons why one cries over the loss of someone he or she was close with. First, they will never see each other again in this world and the joy of their ongoing relationship has been severed. Secondly, the survivor is concerned about the eternal repose of his relative or friend, for we know that there is judgment after death for each person who leaves this world. We hope that the judgment will be favorable for our friend or relative, but the uncertainty can create anxiety, which is also expressed by crying and mourning. It is for this reason that Abraham's crying was reduced: knowing that his wife Sarah was a perfectly righteous individual all 127 years of her life, he was certain that Sarah's judgment in the next world would be most favorable. Therefore, his expression of sadness was only for one reasonthe loss of his personal relationship with his beloved wife. The Torah is hinting to this by use of the miniature letter.

Joel, may you continue to use your good insight to read between the lines of the Torah. You will mine many diamonds.

Your friend,
Rabbi Reuven Drucker

Soul Talk

Many commentators understand Rashi's comment that "Hashem will give and continue to give" as referring to the method that Hashem will use to provide Jacob's descendants with their blessing: Instead of providing it all at once, He will provide it little by little.

One might ask: Why is this a blessing? Seemingly, it would be better to receive Hashem's largesse all at once, without waiting to receive it little by little!

The Maggid of Dubno answers this question by offering a famous parable. A king had two sons, one of whom was the apple of his eye, while the other was the bane of his existence. The first could do no wrong, while the second was a constant source of frustration and problems.

When the lads came of age, the king lost no time in handing a large amount of gold to his troublesome son, and sending him to a distant province for several years. He did not give any gold at all to his other son, but bade him simply to continue living in the palace as before.

The good son was troubled. "Why is it," he asked his father, "that my brother, who has always given you grief, is given wealth and riches, while I, who have always been a source of joy, receive nothing?"

The king replied, "Do not misunderstand! It is you whom I love more than anyone, and therefore I wish to keep you near me at all times. You have no need for your own gold; my treasury is at your disposal. But I wish to distance your brother from here as much as possible, so I sent him off with a great deal of gold. It is my fervent wish that he does not return too soon ... "

So too is it with the blessings we receive from Hashem. If we receive too much good at one time, we forget from Whom the wealth emanates, and we can fail to thank Him for all that He has done for us. Isaac therefore blessed Jacob with a blessing that would be bestowed in small increments, so that his descendants would always remember the source of the blessing.

R' Shmuel Rozovski takes this idea further, and notes that the closeness to Hashem that results from His largesse to us is in itself part and parcel of the blessing. Thus, in truth Isaac blessed Jacob with two things material wealth, and the closeness to Hashem that would result from the constant flow of Divine blessing.

Ksav Sofer notes that another benefit of measured blessing is that while it ensures that the recipient will not be poor, it will not necessarily make him rich either. Wealth is a test that not everyone is equipped to withstand; indeed, the Mishnah in Avos (2:7) tells us that one who increases wealth, increases worries as well. Thus, Isaac blessed Jacob with sufficiency, but not with wealth and its accompanying problems.

Hey, I never knew that!

Amazing Insights About the Weekly Parsha
By Ozer Alport

Q: Isaac and Rebecca were married for 20 years, and in spite of all of their efforts, they were unable to conceive and bear a child. They petitioned and beseeched Hashem to give them children. However, Rashi explains (25:21) that they didn't merely pray as one would typically do, but rather they entreated Hashem repeatedly and with tremendous fervor before they were finally answered. What was Hashem's rationale for making them endure such intense and prolonged suffering? Why didn't He answer their prayers immediately?

A: Rabbi Meir Shapiro notes that Rashi writes (25:30) that Abraham died 5 years prematurely so that he wouldn't have to endure the pain of seeing his grandson Esau commit terrible sins. Recognizing that this would happen made it incredibly difficult for Hashem to answer their prayers, for He understood that the sooner He would give them the children for which they were pleading, the sooner Esau would be prepared to embark upon his path of wickedness, and the sooner His beloved Abraham would have to die so as to be spared the anguish of witnessing Esau's actions. Therefore, Hashem put off answering the heartfelt pleas of Isaac and Rebecca until they had prayed repeatedly with so much intent that He was "forced" to grant their request.

Many times in life we are convinced that we need something for the sake of our long-term happiness and well-being. We pray and cry and pray again, eventually becoming frustrated at Hashem's apparent cruelty in ignoring or rejecting what we feel are our heartfelt and reasonable requests. At such times, we should remind ourselves of the lesson we learn from Isaac and Rebecca and take comfort in the knowledge that sometimes Hashem, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, recognizes that what we are firmly convinced we need and deserve may in reality not be in our own long-term best interest.

Q: Although Jacob and Esau were twins, they had little else in common. Their goals, values, and morals couldn't have been farther apart. What accounts for the vast difference between them?

A:Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv, often referred to as the Alter of Kelm, explains that the tremendous gap between them lies in one fundamental difference. The name Esau (ain - sin - nun) is related to the word esavi (ain - sin - nun - yud) fully made as Esau was born with hair and teeth, much like an older child. The name Yaakov (Jacob) (yud - ain - kuf - veys), on the other hand, is associated with the word ekev (ain - kuf - veys) heel as Jacob viewed himself as being at the very bottom of his life's work. Jacob's name is expressed in the future tense, as he understood that he wasn't already a finished product and constantly had more work to do to keep growing to maximize his potential.

The Alter of Kelm explains that the reason human babies are born so weak, in contrast to other animals which are born already capable of sustaining themselves, is so that they will be prepared to learn from their parents. Esau was born viewing himself as a completed package, and he was therefore lacking in his interest to learn from others.

This stands in stark contrast to Jacob, who even at the age of 60 opted to invest an additional 14 years to study in yeshiva before seeking a wife. Later, as he traveled to Egypt to be reunited with Yosef at the advanced age of 130, his first priority was to send his son Yehuda ahead for the purpose of establishing a yeshiva so that he wouldn't miss out on even one day of his studies. In fact, the greatest level a yeshiva student can hope to attain is that of Talmid Chocham a Torah scholar but even a sage who reaches such a level is still referred to as a Talmid a student with much still to learn. We live in a society which views its elders with anything but reverence. We must combat this pervasive attitude by learning from our forefather Jacob, who teaches us the importance of respecting and learning from our elders.

Table Talk: For discussion around the Shabbos Table

a) If Rebecca knew the truth about Esau's wickedness, how did she know that he wouldn't physically or spiritually harm Jacob, as she didn't insist that he be sent away like Sarah sent Yishmael away to protect Isaac?

b) Although Esau tricked his father into thinking he was righteous, Isaac must have realized that Jacob was even greater. Why then would he choose to bless Esau instead of the more pious Jacob? (Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv quoted in Darkei Mussar, Darash Moshe Vol. 2 by Rabbi Moshe Feinstein)

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