The Midrash relates a long dialogue between Moses and G-d, with Moses invoking various arguments to revoke the Divine decree that he may not enter the Promised Land. G-d told Moses that each generation has its leader, and the period of leadership is preordained. The predestined time had arrived for Joshua to assume the leadership, and there was no way that this could be delayed for even a single moment. To this Moses responded, Well, then, let Joshua be the leader, and I will be his disciple, and G-d agreed to this.

      Joshua then entered the Sanctuary, and Moses remained outside and observed the Divine cloud descending upon the Sanctuary as it had so often done when G-d had spoken with him. When the cloud lifted and Joshua emerged, Moses asked him, What did G-d say to you? Joshua responded, All those years when G-d spoke privately to you, did I ever ask you what G-d had said to you? Whereupon Moses exclaimed, I will die a hundred deaths rather than experience one moment of envy! and surrendered his soul to G-d.

      Of all the negative traits which can afflict the human being, envy is perhaps among the most abhorrent. Solomon refers to envy as something which rots the bones (Proverbs 14:30). Although the Talmud finds a redeeming value in it when envy of anothers knowledge stimulates one to learning (Bava Basra 21a), Rabbeinu Yonah feels that this is a rather undesirable motive for acquiring wisdom, and that it would be far preferable for one to desire wisdom for its own sake rather than out of envy.

      Moses was ready to make whatever sacrifices G-d would request of him, in order that he be granted this single wish to set foot on the holy earth of Israel. Yet the awareness that he could continue to live only under circumstances that would arouse envy within him was enough to cause him to forgo the most fervent wish of his life.

      The ethical work Orchos Tzaddikim states that the envious person, one who desires that which others have, is essentially in disagreement with how G-d has distributed His bounty among people. The envy that Moses experienced when he witnessed Joshua in communion with G-d made Moses realize that he could harbor a feeling that differed with the Divine will, and Moses felt that a life wherein ones will deviated from the will of G-d was not worth living, regardless of what other rewards might be reaped.

      The ideal goal in life is described in Ethics of the Fathers (2:4): Make His will your will. A true awareness that one was created for the specific purpose of doing the will of G-d would make a person dedicate his entire life to fulfilling that purpose. Although we may not be able to reach the degree of perfection achieved by Moses, we must nevertheless strive for this goal.

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